People lost at sea all need a direction in which to swim, some just find the right one

Blair's sister-in-law's recent announcement of embracing islam, has unleashed a fairly generous amount of media banter. The repetitive debates and fiery opinions which reappear - women in Islam are oppressed, or that she became a sympathiser of a political cause or the less overtly stated one; she's another hippee looking for the latest new thing.

Well I can't pretend to know what exactly went through Lauren Booth's mind before she took the religious plunge, but from what she describes as some sort of spiritual rush, it seems Islam for her just felt right. We live in times, lets be brutally honest here, where we all seeming to be swimming against some sort of tide.  The way we overcome the tide is dependent on the amount of thinking we do, how much of reality we really see and whether we really find the strength and guidance to plunge our arms in the right current of water.

There is never the same discovery people make when they find Islam, but one thing is true for considerable amounts of women in the west - there comes a realisation when they live deep within the luring and luxurious riches of liberalism that a place where anything you wish for goes, is no place to wish for at all.

This isn't simply about the ritual stab at western decadence, for the sake of it. This is about living intertwined amongst wanting to fulfil all your hearts' desires, and realising that sometimes the consequences of which provide no warmth to the heart at all. In fact it's about realising that a culture of doing whatever one pleases is indeed what makes men leave the mother of their kids for the younger blonde with the pokey studio flat as the only baggage with the relationship, or what makes some men feel they can treat their lady whatever way is fitting for them at whatever time having no accountability to no one - only one's kicks at that time. Or even what drives big businesses to feel it's okay to make women feel their exterior is the only measure of who they are, and that whoever they are their exterior will never measure until they buy the latest daydream or magic concealer, just to ensure they sell sell sell.

It has been freedom to do what one pleases which has plagued society to a degree that it does little to please and care for all. Instead people are being pleased robbing, knifing, swearing and breaking up families. This is no model the rest of the world should lap up.

So do you still ask why. Do you still want to know why people don't want to be enslaved to the desires of the base human who instincts and needs are no different to that of any other mammal seeking to survive on a sahara plain.

Islam, throughout the last 1400 years, provided a heart-exhilirating liberation from slavery to the human heart, to slavery to the Creator of all human hearts, and limbs and minds.  The Creator who has obligated on the human heart to care for those close to us, and far from us, those vulnerable, those ill. To care about what happens around you, instead about what happens within your own blockaded life.  It is this accountability to Him in everything that you do, in the way you treat others and how you look after society, which liberates us.

This is the easiest swim and the calmest of tide to flow through. And this is why when you find this route in the ocean, you will never let it go.

When light hits the prism

Light, before it hits a prism, is one and whole. Blindingly illuminating. Then, as it travels through the unforgivingly jagged form of the prism, it splits into a variety of distinct colours which seem to have no resemblance to what came before. They all came from that same initial illuminating, all encompassing light, but the journey of the prism has shattered that oneness, creating many paths which seem now impossible to again unify.

Our purpose in life, I think, is a little like this. We all start off knowing that our purpose is one, wholly one on this earth. But as we travel through the jagged realities of this dunya, this purpose which can be explained in just three words, to worship Allah, becomes a multitiude of complex aims, desires and aspirations. And the further we fall into the lures of the dunya, the more divergent our aims and aspirations become, often becoming unrecognisable from our initial purpose, in reality, although we may not think so.

To exist in this world of course requires more than simply settling upon a prayer mat. And to fulfil your purpose in life, of worshipping Allah, definitely requires more than that. In fact as Muslims, we need to maintain a whole host of responsibilities in order to fulfil the instincts and needs we hold as human beings, in the way that Allah desires. But the question is, how do we maintain our purpose in life as well as live the life in this world?

The answer I think is quite simple. It means being able to distinguish the place where the light splits in the prism, where the purpose no longer is really the purpose. It's when we begin to do actions and then fit them into our purpose, however tenuous the link, instead of the other way round. And so normal this way of living has become for the Muslim, that to do things the other way round, raises eyebrows - they get labelled as making life as a Muslim very 'black and white'. That they have simplified it, that they have not really understood what living by Islam really means.

So when a Muslim woman has children, and she decides to fulfil her responsibility of bringing up her children, as this is the role, over all other roles, which Allah SWT will hold her to account for, she's being a bit black and white. It's all more complex than that. You can work in a job where you can do good, which gives you respect and social standing, you can put your kids in a nursery which teaches them well or you put them in the trusted care of a relative, and on top of all that the extra money that you earn will give those kids a better standard of life. It all fits in somehow to the grand scheme of our purpose in life, right? But I would ask that when we make these links, that we really stand back and ask ourselves. Is this action for Allah? Will these decisions get me closer to Jannah, or are they to enable me to progress more in this life, to fit in more in this life, to make myself more happy in this life? Because it's not really about being a stay at home mum or not. It's about the way we shape the decisions we make in life.

The point here is we live in a society today, where Capitalism has framed the right and wrong around us. From the bottom line - That money is it, has sprung values which promote accumulation of wealth, consumerism, materialism and when it comes to women, for example, in particular promotes the development of careers as the mark of value of a person. The values that the secular way of life has produced in society mean that people view personal benefit as paramount - Your career over your family, your contentment over the communities'. Although such an bare-faced exposition of society may stand as a little bit extreme, I believe that's exactly what it is. When you strip the society and values we live in of the normality which has grown on them, like the comfort of soft green moss on jagged rocks, I really believe, this is how it is.

So it's not really that complex. It is simple really. It's about the way you spend your time, that what gives you the feeling of worth and value is linked, inextricably, to your reason for being here. It actually is quite black and white. What makes things complex is the distractions of this dunya, the pressures of society and even family very often, and the luring values of personal benefit which have become so close to the way we think, they seem to even lurk under our skin.

So next time you start looking at your life in a very 'black and white' way, do so with pride, because it is Allah SWT who tells us repeatedly in the timeless Quran that those who forego the life of this world for His sake, His reward is with you.

And the life of this world is nothing but play and amusement. But far better is the house in the Hereafter for those who are Al­Muttaqûn (the pious). Will you not then understand? (Al-An’am 6:32)

Back in the month where Allah SWT could do no more to urge us to worship him

It's been a while. I'm not yet another one of those blogs who has been electrically active then disappeared into thin air when posting gets tedious. Because it's all for Allah SWT right? We don't get tired of praying and fasting, so how can we tire of spreading the word of Allah?

Post maternity leave 3 month return to work, a mad trip with two young children to Malaysia which although was supposed to be leisure ended up being an examination of my patience and stress levels. But now alhumdulila back at home, with the kids, wondering how to structure life, with no work lying ahead, no new baby about to come, it's just about fulfilling my responsibilities in the best way possible. And as someone asked, will I get bored? Bored? What a question. How can you get bored when you have the weight of the responsibilities of a Muslimah on your shoulder... Where is the time or audacity to feel boredom? The Angel of Death lurks behind us, in front of us every twenty minutes or so, someone once worked out if I remember correctly - Would I tell him, when he finally decided to take me, yikes I was bored with fulfilling my obligations of being a mother and bringing up my children in the best way that I can so Paradise can be at my feet, bored maintaining the home which brings me the reward of a jeehad, and tired with trying to carry Allah's deen to everyone around me in a time which is as dark as the time the Sahabah struggled in...??!!! So nope, bored, doesn't even fit in the equation. And I'm sorry, but I'm not that much of a sheep that I will kill myself working in the office in the day, working at home in the night, fighting with my kids and fighting with my hubby, just to get through the day. Yes everyone around me is doing it, people in my office even did it, but I have to ask myself why and I would rather choose tranquility in life, any day.

But having returned from Malaysia in the blessed month of Ramadan, of course Ramadan always sparks thoughts about what ibadah means. And my thought for tonight, as we enter the most blessed ten days of Ramadan, is that understand what ibadah really is. Because something is clearer than crystal, whatever action you do, whatever intention you have Allah SWT is the All Hearing and All Seeing, he knows it all. So if you neglect Allah's commands all year round, going by what pleases you, what fits in with the people you hang out with, over what Allah wants of you, Allah doesn't forget this, come Ramadan. Even though you may begin your fasting, retrieve your prayers and even maybe don the hijab, Allah SWT knows that you do it in this month maybe because everyone else does it, maybe because this month has a special spiritual atmosphere that motivates you, or maybe you do just want to please Allah. But our obedience to Allah knows no limits, no seasonalities. Allah keeps out hearts beating 365 days a year, every second every minute of the day, not by season or by month. Allah SWT grants us the mercy of family, rizq (provisions) even the mercy of tests in life to gain reward and expiate our sins, these mercies are never part-time, or intermittent.

So without questioning whether we mean to worship Allah sincerely in this month or not, the bigger question is why we have the mentality that we can choose when to obey Allah and when not to:
'But no, by your Lord, they can have no real iman until they make you (oh Muhammad) judge in all of the disputes and find in themselves no resistance in your decision and accept them with fullest submission' (surah Nisa)
Allah SWT uses many things in his Noble Quran to swear by, but in this ayah he views the content to be of so much importance that the Lord of the worlds swears by Himself. And Allah SWT majestically tells us in this verse, that our obedience to what the Messenger of Allah brought us goes beyond the fancies and superficial desires we human beings hold - And real faith is by embracing the code of Islam, as our own code for life. Despite the fear of what friends and family will see, the fear of loss of a job or client, the desires of status and honour in this world - whatever it may be - fullest submission is only what it can be.

Don't end this Ramadan by switching off the religious button in your brain. And anyway, you can only switch off something when you have the power to do so. But this is Allah Subhanahu Wa Taala we are talking about. The Allah who exists all year round, sees everything you do, and is closer to you at this very moment than your jugular vein. And let's face it, it's not us who really does the switching off, that's for Allah isn't it, when he decides to make that last intake of cool oxgenated air, our very last.

The silent tests

Living in this dunya is testing and tempting, as Allah SWT tells us in the Qur'an. But living in the West is a whole another ballgame.

People assume that to carry the dawah for Islam in the Muslim world is the most testing thing you can do, and the most testing place you can be. Because in some parts of the Muslim world, to speak for this deen means hardship, means imprisonment and even torture - We look at our brothers and sisters undergoing this in Egypt and Uzbekistan and breathe a sigh of relief - What would I have done if that was me? A test beyond our capabilities we may even believe, in a quiet moment.

However my dear sisters, I would like those of us who look at the Muslim world and then count our blessings about our ease here, to actually stop and think. Step outside our bubble and actually think. Those of us who cover according to the Ahkam of Allah, don't have a haram mortgage, try to pray all of our salat and maybe even do the recommended fasting - Have we made it? We live by the haram and halal of this deen, because of our conviction of Islam and our acknowledgement of our creator and his Messenger SAW - But is this enough? When we look back to Aishah RA, of course she fasted, she prayed, she was a good wife, but she also held onto nothing in this dunya, except for Allah's deen. She never even allowed herself to keep any wealth - even what she needed, but she gave it away as sadaqah; she left her home and everything in it to move to Madinah purely for the sake of Islam and when Muhammad SAW her husband, offered her the comforts and ease of this world over marriage to him and continuing hardship - without a flinch she chose him and the deen. It's the question you probably know is coming, but what would we have done? Because living in the West, I truly believe that our tests are not necessarily less, they are just different. The tests which pull us away from our deen in the West, are of the more subtle and deceiving traits of Shaitan - Where tests and temptations are not even recognised as what they are.

We need to have the most modern aesthetically slick TVs, flawlessly modern newly fitted kitchens, our children dressed in a selection of the cutest of clothing armed with the most latest of toys and us ourselves clad in the latest and most hippest of clothes even our hijabs and jilbabs. Whatever the material asset, it's about the need to consume and keep up essentially with the joneses - Although our yardstick may not necessarily be the joneses, but our own pitless desire as human beings to consume wealth, fuelled by the Capitalist society we live in. As the Prophet SAW said 'The son of Adam, if he had a mountain of gold he would wish for another.'

Just distinguishing the haram and halal which we need to live by in Western society, is by no means enough for us to actually live by what we are trying to live by - Islam. Because this means that although we have understood we need to follow Allah's rules and laws, we have not actually understood why we are here in the first place. That it is not just about abiding by the rights and wrongs of Islam, but still having the same objective in life as non-Muslims - making ourselves happy. This happens when sisters cover, pray and fast etc but are always seeking ways of fulfilling the pit of personal happiness which is fuelled in the West, so they say 'being Islamic doesn't mean being boring you know!' - An innocent statement, but if meant in a particular context a dangerous statement to make. That although I abide by Allah's laws, I still need to fulfil my real purpose in life which is having fun, being happy, having a lovely Islamic house with a decent car, the nicest jilbabs and the whole range of toys available on the market for my kids. This may also mean needing to entertain ourselves by attending women's dinners, nasheed concerts etc - All in the name of happiness.

The reason why a Muslim is on this earth is:
'I have created jinn and man for no other reason but to worship me' Surah Adh-Dhuriyat
She is not here just to have fun, or just to be happy even if its all in an Islamic way. A Muslim is here live purely for Allah and his deen. The quest for personal happiness is not a quest for this dunya. It was not a quest for Aishah RA, Asma RA, Khadijah RA, Maryam AS, Asiyah RA. These great women who have surely gained Allah's pleasure did not gain it by holding onto the thread of do's and don'ts of Allah's message - They have gained Allah's pleasure because of the fact that the deen was the centrepoint of their lives, for which they were willing to, and did(!!) sacrifice everything putting Allah's pleasure constantly above their own. Allah SWT says:
'Surely my Prayer and my sacrifice and my life and my death are (all) for Allah, Lord of the Worlds.' (Al-An`am 6: 162)

My dear sisters, the hardest test is the fact that falling into the ditch of Capitalist consumerism, materialism and the quest for personal happiness is almost unnoticable. It's so easy to concern yourself with buying the latest high street trend, the most nicest of new furniture for the home and before you know it we too have been sucked into this bottomless pit.

But the Muslim is the thinker. I am not saying that having material things are themselves the shaitan, but it is the concepts that come behind them for us. We must ensure that it is only the material things, not the concepts which we take from this Western society. As the concepts are in aversion to Islam and will steer us away from living for this deen, and living for this dawah.

'Among the believers are men who have been true to their covenant with Allah' Al-Ahzab, 33: 23

We are chasing many things in life. Having the perfect home, perfect family, perfect career. Perfection is a standard which is the requisite which must be met and life's goals become geared into doggedly achieving it, in all spheres. However trying to achieve perfection in the deen is deemed more often than not, as either extreme or escaping life's responsibilities.

To people - You become an extremist when you start bringing Islam into places and things where Islam didn't even seem to fit before, and you start escaping life's responsibilities when you take the brave step of maybe prioritising your deen over acquiring wealth, status, letters after your name or your social life even perhaps. The deen of course is not about abandoning life in this dunya. Rather it is living the dunya with the constant thought of the Akhirah. The point however is, when people decide to make certain sacrifices or choices towards Allah's deen the labels are all too quick to be slapped on.

But striving to achieve the best in our deen is the one worry, which I worry so often, do I worry enough about? How do I know if I have, when it comes down to it, given and sacrificed enough to make my entry into Jannah real?And of course I don't, and I never will, but there are events in people's lives which test them to the core, giving them it feels the echoes of the awaiting news of Jannah.

A friend of mine, is in a state of worry, wondering about the state of her brother who due to speaking out about corruption of a Muslim Government, now has to be in a state of hiding. He did it for Allah's sake, seeking only his reward.
'Among the believers are men who have been true to their covenant with Allah'
Of all things in life, may Allah make us strong enough, and worthy enough to be amongst the group of believers who have been true to our covenant with Him. And make the strong who speak the Haqq, number many in this Ummah.

Umm Hakim, returned to Allah 26 Jan 2009

See below the last two diary entries of one of our dear sisters in Islam, who returned to Allah last month. Her husband has given us the privilege to read these and be inspired by them. May Allah SWT give her Jannatul Firdeous and His full protection. May He SWT give her family the highest of patience, and reward.....

My dear sister Ruksanah has given me this book [diary], so that I can write my thoughts, feelings or poetry. Between you and me I am not really good at expressing myself through writing and as far as poetry> goes, well I'm not quite sure about that! – ha, ha, hee, hee.

Anyway let me see what comes out as I sit here [hospital] & think about what's been going on. I've got cancer. What does this mean? To> most when you say cancer they think DEATH. But by the Mercy of Allah (swt) this thought is not consuming me. Allah (swt) is the one who gives & takes life and this disease is not going to rob me of any time in the Duniya. How many times have we given talks or written things about this?

To realise that these concepts are not theory is very important. It is what makes a Muslimah who they are & how we cope. They [concepts] tie us close to Allah (swt) and bring comfort to our hearts. So cancer, leukemia, flu or cold, flying in a plane, getting in a car or simply going to sleep at night makes no difference to me in terms of death. None of these things cause your death. It is Allah (swt) that controls> this.

So what do I think? To be honest I don't really think about it [cancer] too much. I have been pretty much carrying on like normal dealings with today, today's pains and today's problem's. Melek (my dearest Melek) asked me yesterday how I deal with the pain. I laughed and told her I take the drugs. This really made me think about my brothers and sisters around the world , in Iraq, Afghanistan, Palestine, Pakistan, etc. That simply don't have these drugs. Not only don't they have them [drugs], they don't have a medical team or a hospital bed for that matter. How blessed we are! Subhannah Allah! We got all of it. The consultant who is going to ork on my liver is a partner to the queen's surgeon.! But what of my sisters, the Fathimas', the Ayshas' that scream in pain or just rock back and forth. I think of them and tears come to my eyes. I want to see the coming of the Khilafah. The lifting of this oppression sobadly. How blessed are we?

By he mercy of Allah (swt) I get through the pain, I pray the duas that are there to relief them. I drink my Zam Zam [water] and pray "O Allah! You are the curer, the healer, and the reliever of pain, so cure me, heal me and relieve my pain."

1st Dec 08

They are going to let me go home today InshaAllah. I am really looking forward to it. It is quite funny I have lived off a few things in a cupboard and some stuff on a table for about six weeks. [In hospital] Just goes to show all we need some food, clothes and shelter. I just wanted to write a bit about the overwhelming support I have had from my sisters who love me for the sake of Allah (swt) and the brothers that pray for me and show support to Ferdeous. How fortunate am I, SubhanaAllah! I feel so blessed, so many people are making dua for me, may they all go to Jannatul Ferdoeus., their sins be forgiven and their personal duas be answered. I love them all for the sake of Allah (swt). It reminds me of the hadith where two people love each other without having any family ties, purely for the sake of Allah (swt) [1] . InshaAllah, we fall into this category . I think about people who are alone and go through the same thing and l o about myself. What if I wasn't practicing [Islam] with so many sisters and brothers like I have now. Who would have been there for me? Who would be praying for me? We are so blessed. Allah (swt) is really taking care of me.

[Cemaliye 'Jem' Beyzade, Umm Hakim. Age 36, d. 28 Muharram 1430 AH /> 26 January, 2009]

Do you live by Islam, or Live for it?

I'm in the midst of my routine visit to my parents home these Christmas hols. It really has become routine, as as the Christmas holidays have dawned over the last few years, we have packed up our belongings, our woolly scarfs and several warm jumpers, jumped into our car ready for our relaxing break in the Welsh plains. The period of time here has come to characterise excesses of wonderful food, all the Christmas television and most of all rich amounts of family time as everyone is home, cuddled around the coffee table and blazing heaters. The ritual sale shopping where I try to buy all the things I need for the coming year, along with the wonderful time I spend with my family, who appreciate it to the nth degree, always brings with it a urging question for me on what life really is about. Without getting to mushily philosophical, every year I get a window into the world which could possibly be if I didn't have the central hearth of Islam in my life.

Alhumdulilah I can put my hand on my heart and say the time with my family, all the practical things I need to buy and do, has for me a strong link to my Creator; as clearly we all know the weight Islam places on pleasing the parents and keeping ties with kin. My ritual shopping even has a link (however tenuously some may assume!) it's all the stuff I need to get for my family and my kids to keep us going for a while inshaAllah. But it's that link that keeps me feeling cool. As without that link, I contemplate how would I really feel?

For me this link is what keeps me feeling content that the actions I do have some sort of weight and value, as Allah SWT has clearly told us in Surah AdhDhuriyat that the purpose of the creation of mankind, is for the sole purpose of us to worship him - not to shop, chill or let our life drift away trying to just even be happy.

But I think alhumdulilah alot of us, many of us who have had the honour to re-find Islam again, can intellectuslise this link. The understanding that unless our lives are led in accordance with Allah's rules and laws, then there is no meaning or use for us. But my understanding of this deen tells me that the Islamic purpose in life means more than this, and this is something I think we all find a battle to embed in life. And what concerns me more for the Muslim community I see living around me, is a more recent phenomenan which I feel challenges the desire for us to live purely for Islam.

A sister I remember once said to me that the biggest obstacle for the Muslim community in the West to regaining and working for the vision to resestablish just Islamic rule in the Muslim world, is that we have been lured by a lifestyle, the British Muslim lifestyle which acts as separating us and our aspirations from the rest of the Ummah. The fact that we now have supermarket halal meat, even halal organic meat now I hear, a growing abundance of masjids, the mushrooming of Islamic fashion, the whole new ethos of Islamic shopping, Islamic entertainment - both music and TV(!!) and even the opportunities to engage in British politics with your Islamic(ish) agenda; has meant for many Muslims who live by Islam today that we feel that this is it. We have an Islamicised version of almost everything on the mainstream British market. We have everything we need just around us and our goals become to develop this British Islamic lifestyle over anything else, whichI feel replicates the concepts of escapist entertainment culture we see in the West. We bury ourselves in material things and ideas which give us our kicks and take up our time, and ultimately help us escape the stark realities of this world and life. Things happening abroad then aren't really our problem as much, as we feel we belong here in the West and this is where our allegiances, worries and goals should lie. Alhumdulilah many of these things are good for the Muslim community in one sense as they have aided us to live by Islam and retain our Deen, but I fear that there are more dangers in this phenomenan than can be at first perceived, if the community do not treat this whole new revolution appropriately. I fear that we will just become hijab wearing and salah practising versions of our British counterparts we live with and amongst.

I'm not a traditional isolationist, if that's what you are now thinking. I don't believe in shunning everything with a taint of what is Western, but what I do believe is that we not only have to distinguish between the haram and halal in this society, but also the key ideas and concepts. Our Prophet SAW, throughout his entire Prophethood never sought comfort, whether material or emotional as his goal in life and neither did his Sahabah. Rather his goal throughout his life was always to make Islam superior and to protect his Ummah, as he famously said to Abu Talib 'If you put the sun in my right hand and the moon in my left, I would not leave this struggle until it is victorious or I perish therein'. For him SAW, not only would he sacrifice his comfort and the comfort of his family for Islam, but even his SAW life he SAW was willing to give. And if this is the example, of our best example, then is this not we should follow?

The beauty of the Deen of Islam is that it does not require us to follow a life of asceticism where we renounce everything and anything material, it does not even view wealth as something which is innately evil; but what Allah always does ask us to question, is why we are in this world in the first place. That are we here to seek comforts, pursue an individualistic lifestyle as our non-Muslim counterparts are urged to, looking out and living for ourselves and only those close to us; and getting our kicks in life out of material things? Just because some of these things maybe cloaked in an Islamic appearance, does not mean our use of them are not any less dangerous than the popular culture and fashion races of the West.

The abundance of evidences in the Quran and Sunnah highlight that the reason why we wake in the morning, all the kicks and what we dedicate the most important parts of our day to, what we get excited about - all that - should be for Islam, nothing else. As the Prophet SAW said 'None of you truly believes, until your desires conform with what I have brought.' We must therefore take the time out from our all engulfing lives to think. Think about what being a Muslim really means, that we live to carry Allah's word to the world and make Islam superior. That we are a vanguard of Islam and the Ummah and that this brings a duty and responsibility. It's not just about praying, fasting, having your Islamic mortgage and getting your kids into Islamic schools. We need to contemplate about this beautiful Deen of Allah SWT and how it is gathering dust in the auspicious Qurans on our shelves and is deemed, astaghfirullah, not good enough to rule over us in this so-called modern world we live in. And the effects of this being manifold - we have a global economics which has gone past breaking point, social systems where rape, crime, murder are in their multitude, and a world where abusing and oppressing the Ummah is just part of life.
With this turbulent reality around us, it is not normal for any follower of Islam or servant of Allah SWT to be able to live a life of comfort, content with all the Islamicised provisions we have gained and that's about it. The fact that even one mother of this Ummah yesterday in Gaza experienced the death of all her children should be cause for us all to dedicate our efforts and energy and time and sweat to work in the correct manner for the reestablishment of Allah's law and the shield of a righteous ruler for this Ummah. The Prophet SAW said: 'The imam is a shield from behind which the Ummah fight and are defended.' And the pain of this should be as sharp as the pain we would feel for our own mother or sister, as the Prophet SAW likened our relationship with the Ummah, wherever they are, as being part of the same body - if they hurt, we inevitably feel it too.

To live in this dunya is right and good as our bodies, our families all do have a right over us, as prescribed by our Creator. However this should not become our sole purpose in life as this was never the mission Allah SWT set for us, from the moment he set mankind onto this earth. Rather Allah's pleasure, and the promise of Jannah, we know only is rewarded to those who live to make Allah's deen the highest, sacrificing as much as we possibly can of this dunya - Not those who simply live by the basics of what Allah has forbidden and enjoined. It is living for Islam, not simply by Islam which is the pathway into Jannah, and who would want to risk it being any other way?
'Say: If it be that your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your mates, or your kindred; the wealth that ye have gained; the commerce in which ye fear a decline: or the dwellings in which ye delight - are dearer to you than Allah, or His Messenger, or the striving in His cause;- then wait until Allah brings about His decision: and Allah guides not the rebellious.' (9:24)